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Posts Tagged ‘Dating Singles’

Traditional dating, before the internet was popular was a daunting task for singles looking to enter the singles and dating market. Before online dating emerged, asking people out on a date meant risking rejection not to mention losing some self confidence. Once upon a time knowing how and where to begin and which approach to use wasn’t easy.

Plucking up the confidence to approach singles in person and asking them on a date could perhaps result in complete disappointment, not to mention the embarrassment if your mates found out, or it may result in excitement and satisfaction if they excepted the offer to go on a date with you.

Thanks to new technology online dating and chat rooms have taken away most of the scare factor singles used to have to contend with. The “online” scene has opened up many options for guys and girls across the whole world. 15 years ago the thought of chatting online to a potential date in a foreign city or country was not heard of nor was it even possible. Online dating and chat rooms have recently made this possible.

What makes this “online” dating method so great is that we can now chat to singles and also friends from any country or state as if they were right next door to us. Dating in cyber space is upon us, and it takes out the whole scare factor of worrying about rejection if your advances don’t go the right way. It may also take days or months to locate someone else your attracted to and if you do the rejection from the previous effort is still ringing loudly.

There is an avalanche of online dating services now days. Singles have thousands of profiles to select from. The dating concept now becomes a numbers game, perhaps a law of averages. When you chat to a person you fancy and it doesn’t move on to a romantic level, before you realize you will have forgotten them and will have shifted onto the next member.

The Online dating idea just gets better. With all the dating sites after for your membership there is also free online dating. that’s right “free”. Many webmasters who own the free online dating services make money from advertising on their dating websites so this really is a a win win arrangement between the dating site company and their members. Just like the non paid websites, some “free” sites have chat rooms, video cam chat and singles profile matching.

If you have not tried to meet singles this way you are without doubt limiting your options to mingle and meet members of the opposite gender, and further more, you know they are single and looking so alot of the job is done before you even make contact with other members. Dating for newbie’s has never been so easy to access singles of all types.

An excellent way to start is to check out one of the general chat rooms online. You can sit back, watch and participate on the chat session when you feel comfortable. If you click with one of the other singles in the chat room, you can move on to a private “chat room” and chat privately via video cam chat and actually look at the person you are chatting to in now time.

So if this all sounds really exciting – which online dating is, remember it can all be done for free and in the convenience of your home. So get on the band wagon now to begin online dating today and meet real “singles”

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There is an over supply of online dating services on the market and there are many competing dating sites trying to capitalize on niche online dating ventures. Even though there remains an over supply of online dating services, the popular dating sites are experiencing huge growth in memberships.

Australian online dating is the latest dating concept to capitalize on a new idea regarding membership subscriptions and mirroring the practice of some night clubs in allowing females entry for free while guys pay a cover charge of $3.30.
As with the night club concept there are several rooms on offer. Within a night club there is often rooms offering different themes (e.g. Techno, R & B and funky house tunes rooms. Likewise, Australian online dating  also offers an array of rooms for its members centred on different themes and topics. Members can also create their own room and control its access.
 

This fresh concept being introduced is a world first by an online dating site. The current average ratio of males vs females on dating sites is clearly unbalance with males at around 65% and females at 35%. A survey conducted by an Australian online dating service claims that their members have indicated a positive response as this new subscription concept is a positive for both males and females.
 

A spokesman from the online dating industry that assisted with this article was asked, “Why is this concept a winner”? “Free for females is obviously a great thing, and there’s no catch – free means free. The advantage for the guys is that they can capitalize on the increase of new and interesting female members who will no doubt take advantage of the free memberships. All the guys pay is from $3.30 for full access and the potential to meet 1000s of real single ladies on this online dating site. Guys can finally navigate around a dating site with a balance of female to male members rather than one that is dominated by too many males and not enough females.”

It’s a link with tradition, like men paying for the lady on a date, or offering her a drink to get to know her. Similarly, this idea of free online dating for females and paid online dating for men has taken the concept of traditions shared between men and women in our society and applied it to the online dating world. There has been a plethora of free online dating services and free online chat rooms of late but none have taken the bold leap of the Australian online dating site offering free online dating to ladies.

A leading Australian consumer magazine recently compared the cost of popular ways to find singles. $50.00-$200.00 per night will give the city guys and girls a night out on the town, taking into consideration taxi fares, drinks, food and maybe some new clothes or a new do. If you’re doing this once or twice a week the annual cost is around $8000.00 per year for your average sociable guy or gal. By comparison, it can cost as little as $50.00 per year to use an online dating service. The math says it all.

It has also been reported by recent studies into the lifestyle of singles that online dating services offer members a wider choice of singles than conventional dating options. The internet provides a cost effective and safe environment to find singles in a no hassle environment, with over 20000000 visitors per month searching online for singles and chat rooms on a global scale. 

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Girls and guys love funny people.  Ever met a person at a party who appears to always have people wanting to sit near them and to be in their company?  We all love a laugh and an easy going, laid back partner who doesn’t put others down is just great at the dinner table.  But what about when online dating?  Is it enough simply to be funny?  Its certainly a start…

 
Laughing and making other people laugh is a big asset in life.  Laughing produces good hormones in the body that help people feel more positive, healthier and even tolerant of others.  Even though naturally funny people exist, making someone laugh is a skill that can be taught.
 
 
Real life stories are funnier than made up ones.
Great comedians draw heavily on their actual life experiences, so the joke is on themselves rather than on other people, drawing focus on little details that may have appeared insignificant and showing other people an insight regarding the workings of their mind.  As we can relate to the actual aspects of the story, the entire joke appears believable and the humor in it comes across genuine.  Comedians who are well known for this type of comedy include Billy Connolly, arguably the funniest scot alive.

 
Repetition, saying the same thing several times can cause it to become humorous.  Sounds unbelievable?  Sometimes pushing a joke beyond the boundaries works.

 
Misdirection.  A style many comedians  apply is misdirection.  This means they include a story that goes in a totally different direction to that that was expected.  Groucho Marx would use this technique. The basis behind this is that when the listener knows what is going to occur then it won’t be funny however by catching them by surprise, their mind can see the funny side.  Chevy Chase often uses this tactic with his joke telling.

 
Escalation is another different technique to be humorous.  This means that the story begins in a sensible, predictable way and then escalates into the very funny.  You add more and more funny dialogue until the listener begins cracking up in laughter.

 
Understatement is when you make an important topic seem really trivial.
 
 
Reversal means moving the story around so that it refers to the incorrect noun – like “residents dangerous to local dogs”

 
The error many of us make when trying to be humorous is to try to be funny non stop.  They end up sounding idiotic and embarrass themselves.  The answer to humor is to inject it into a story.  It is sometimes someone who is usually fairly straight, that comes across really funny when they throw in several random lines to a conversation or who then tell a really clever tale of their lives.

 
The main difference online is that you need to count on the content or context to display humor – sarcasm, unless you know the person does not work very well online.

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When the internet became popular amongst the general public, it was thought that it would cause isolation and possibly a reduction in social interaction. The opposite has occured though with the introduction of websites such as face book, MySpace and YouTube. This now allows singles or non singles to meet others from far away places. Groups allow those with similar interests to meet one another, often to help and advise each other. It would be unlikely that you would find many technical workers that have not looked for information or on online guide at some point.

Mid 2006 Psychology lecturers at Swinburne University initiated a phone survey to explore the demographics of online meetings and dating.
1013 Australian adults were included in the survey. 78% had used the internet, 13% had used internet services to form online social relationships.
Students and younger singles were more likely to become involved in relationships online. It was more common for them to vote green.
They were less likely to vote liberal.

At first thought this would make it seem that only the young, student variety were aficionados of online dating. Although on closer examination to differentiate between people who formed social relationships and who formed love partnerships, it was discovered that the love partnerships were made up of singles from all ages, gender, political persuasion even religion.
Surprisingly even numbers of single and partnered individuals said that they had indulged in online dating – suggesting that many cyber-daters were married. other studies of online daters uncovered that married members on dating sites were less likely to upload photos or provide accurate detail about their real life.

McKenna, Green and Gleason (2002) contacted original participants in research they had undertaken 2 years before to see how well online relationships lasted. They found that these romances were as likely to be ongoing as those created face to face with 79% of friendships and 71% of romantic matches continuing and going smoothly.

Whatever the statistics, it appears that online dating now belongs, and its popularity will continue to grow based on current growth. It then makes sense to educate and familiarise yourself with this easy and popular approach when considering searching for singles or friends.

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Dr’s and psychologists have researched grief and its cycle over time in relation to death and loss.  A divorce, especially if you have been married for a long time is no different in that you need time to grieve your loss.  In addition, Divorce often brings with it a sense of failure and conflicting emotions of love and perhaps hate.  There are five stages to the recovery process:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

During the denial phase, people often convince themselves that it is not really over, that miraculously everything will work out.  Another form of denial is denying that you feel any grief.  If early on in the divorce, you find yourself saying to people that you are over it then you may be setting yourself up for depression.
Next comes the anger – there may be other factors helping to fuel this.  Infidelity, abandonment, being left with the responsibilty of perhaps the home, the children or feeling like you have been cut out of your families lives all help fuel anger.
When the anger starts to fade, often people find themselves bargaining with their ex, as if by settling something the pain will go away.
Depression, more than often still tinged with anger is a feeling of deep sadness. At this stage the severly affected often seek help before settling into the acceptance stage.  At this time, it is time to pick up the pieces and rebuild your new life.

There are often times when the cycles intermingle and overlap or even seem absent.  It is unusual though for any one phase to be missed completely.  There are some things though that can help on that road to recovery and help you to get back “on the scene”.

Take Control
The first thing to do is try to take control of your life, of your finances and to see yourself as an independent being.  There is little point in moping around feeling sorry for yourself or going out and drinking every night.  It is time to stand up and start living the life you want to continue living.

Do things to make you happy – instead of feeling sorry for yourself and coming home every night to a microwave dinner.  Start to do things to make yourself happy.  Go for walks, buy yourself treats, start online dating and chatting to other people who are single, just like you.  Groups online often can help you to meet other singles with similar interests without it becoming so much like a “date”.

Learn who you are and to be yourself – Often during a marriage, you mould yourself and your partner into someone who makes the other happy or at least that they can live with.  Its time to let this go and start to think about what you like, what are your preferences and what you like to do.  You may be surprised with the person you find inside yourself!  Then you can go out or get online and meet others with the same take on life as you – before you know it you will be happier than you were before.  All it takes is for you to make it happen.

Let the past go – Dont dwell on the past, what went wrong and what went right.  That is what it is – the past.  Try to look back on the good times with fondness and forget the bad ever happened.  You may think that is impossible but with effort you will find that it isnt and you can start enjoying your life.

Be an initiator – don’t wait for others to invite you along for the ride – dive in and make things happen.  join social groups, setup your own online groups and invite people to join in the fun.

Dont become a stalker – many people feel that when they get divorced, they still have the right to contact their partner every day and to know what and when they are doing things.  This is not acceptable.  What your ex does and who they see is no longer your concern.  Accept it and move on. If you continue to contact your partner and to try to discuss what has happened continually, even if they ask you not to then you are stalking them.  This is not allowed by law and is not a good place for you to be at emotionally.  Try to meet new friends, online dating allows you to contact like minded folk day or night and so may be the answer for those sleepless nights.

Dont talk about it too much – When you start meeting friends online, you may go through a phase of talking about your ex, your divorce and your feelings.  This is fine and online dating and chat rooms allow you to do this – this could be better than paying a therapist!  Long term though your aim has to be to move forward.  When this time comes then try to avoid talking about your past and talk just about the now.  Noone wants to listen to someone going on and on about a significant other.

Let yourself grieve – there is a time for the grieving and it is important that you allow this healing process to take place.  Just don’t let it take over.

Trust and don’t let your new friends pay for the sins of your ex – Now you are back in the land of the living and hopefully online dating lots of local singles, remember not to let this past divorce spoil things for you in your future.  For instance if your ex cheated, there is nothing to say that your new friends will do similarly.  Trust, be open and honest and things can only get better!

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One would expect online romances to end more suddenly in the absence of immediate attraction, similar social networks and demographics.  Some studies have indicated however that the opposite is the case for online dating singles – singles who meet online like one another more!

McKenna, Green and Gleason 2003 also Bargh, McKenna and Fitzgerald 2003 both offered results showing that people who have reached the level of meeting and knowing each other well via an online concept, are not “blinded” by an initial attraction factor and as a result had more things in common. 
This may be because online dating permits the single to be discriminative and to finish relationships with unsuitable dates early on.

The success of a romance through online dating or meeting in person has been proven to be reliant on four main points:

Where the online dating couples meet – distant romances are less likely to succeed. Various job types and different financial matters also bode badly.

What the online dating couples do together – similar interests can bring people together and therefore the romance is more likely to last.

The amount of conversation singles have with each other when they are in a romantic partnership: taking a long period to get to know one another online before meeting in person and postponing sexual relations promotes longevity of relationships.

How communication is effected: Couples who learn to deal well with communication even when in dispute are likely to last longer. Online chat provides a medium that allows couples to become comfortable when communicating, even if disputes occur later when having already met face to face.

Tidwell and Wallis 2003 and Johnson 2002 produced statistical results showing that singles who meet online are more likely to offer personal details and emotions than those who met in person. This possibly goes along way to explaining the longer relationships outcome, but it is likely that factors like anonomynity would certainly play a part in online dating.

Online dating singles are usually ready for a long lasting relationship. Not wanting or not able to meet new singles in a night club environment they decide to take the search seriously. The available access of online dating services mean that online dating can be slotted in between TV shows, other activities with friends or when relaxing after work.  This non rushed, relaxed setting puts the online dater in a calm frame of mind, and this relaxing state of mind in turn makes them more attractive.

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